Empathy and Accountability: the Real Leadership Power Move

Giving feedback is a gift. Adding in empathy and accountabiity to support your team.

You don’t have to choose to have empathy or accountability in your feedback: you can show compassion and demand excellence. The real magic in leadership comes when you master the art of balancing both.

When you lean too heavily into results, you risk becoming a cold taskmaster. Lean the other way, and you become confusing and ineffective. What works is the sweet spot in between: clear expectations wrapped in human care.

Here’s how to strike the balance when giving feedback:

1. Set expectations that are unmistakable

Don’t force your team to guess what “good enough” even means. Spell out performance standards from day one, then revisit and adjust. Giving your team clarity is an act of respect and showing your value in them.

2. Lead with the “Why”

When accountability flows from purpose, not power, people lean in. Show them how hitting the standard matters to clients, the mission, or the bigger picture. It becomes a shared mission, not just a leader's demand.

3. Build trust first

You can’t expect people to own responsibilities you never discussed. Empathy means seeing where they are coming from and if they have the right skills or resources and having ongoing, honest conversations. People must feel seen before they feel accountable.

4. Give feedback frequently (leaving it too long, creates a blow-up).

You already know the cost of letting problems fester. Make feedback regular, real, and future-focused. Allow individuals to make necessary adjustments before a crisis arises and share it as a gift towards their development of continuous learning.

5. Be flexible—but not flimsy

Life happens. Be willing to bend when there’s a good reason. For example, health, family, and work pressures. But don’t lose the backbone. Flexibility is earned through consistency, not weakness. Your kindness can get taken advantage of.

6. Walk the talk

If you expect accountability, model it. Miss deadlines? Own it. Mess up? Admit it. When leaders show they’re human, it breeds respect and fewer excuses. Getting straight to the point and owning your problems creates a safe place for them to as well. This saves time and productivity.

7. Use tools that help you learn

Strengths and values assessments, check-ins, peer accountability groups. These are more than “feel good” toys. They will help you see blind spots, align motivations, and get ahead of friction. Start with the VIA, values in Action free assessment to get to know your team.

The big mindshift: It’s not empathy vs. accountability. they can both work hand in hand.

Once you see them as complementary, your leadership changes. Empathy gives you the insight to guide growth; accountability gives you the structure so things actually get done. Together, they build trust, ownership, and performance.

What's one thing you can do today to show your team you have empathy and to allow them the skills to drive accountability?